Unschooling and Deschooling: What They Really Look Like in Real Life
When families step into home education, two words often come up very quickly: deschooling and unschooling.
They can feel freeing when you first hear them. They can also feel confusing, or even a bit loaded, especially when you realise those same words don’t always land well with your Local Authority.
I remember feeling unsure how much to say, how to explain what we were doing, and whether the language itself was going to cause more stress than the learning ever did.
So here’s what those terms have meant for us, in real life.
What Deschooling Looks Like
Deschooling isn’t a method or a timetable. It’s a pause.
For us, it looked like slower mornings, less pressure, and a lot of decompression after years of rigid routines and expectations. There was a period where very little looked like “learning” on the surface. To be honest, it sometimes looked like doing nothing.
But what was really happening was rest.
Confidence was being rebuilt. Curiosity was starting to reappear. The constant sense of being measured began to ease.
That breathing space mattered more than anything else we could have pushed academically at that point. Without it, nothing meaningful would have stuck anyway.
What Unschooling Means (and What It Doesn’t)
Unschooling is often described as learning led by a child’s interests rather than a fixed curriculum. In practice, it’s less of a philosophy and more of a way of paying attention.
It means noticing what your child is drawn to and letting learning grow from there.
In our house, learning shows up in ordinary moments. Cooking leads to reading recipes and adjusting quantities. A hobby turns into a mini project. A question turns into a book, which turns into another question.
It doesn’t look like school. That’s the point.
And it doesn’t mean learning isn’t happening. It just isn’t packaged neatly into lessons.
What It Actually Looks Like for Us
In reality, we use a mix of approaches, and I think most home educators do, even if they don’t always label it that way.
My daughter loves photography, especially portraits, so she sets herself little creative challenges and projects. She’s fascinated by history, particularly Henry VIII and his wives. When we visited the Mary Rose, she became fixated on the ship’s dog, then came home, bought a book about Henry VIII, and read it cover to cover in one evening.
That interest didn’t stay in one place. It led naturally into curiosity about World War Two, sparked by reading Goodnight Mister Tom. From there, we’ve added museum visits, discussions, and related books.
At the gym, learning looks like movement and conversations about anatomy and physiology. Alongside that, because she wants to go to college, we also study structured maths and English at home.
We’re exploring coursework-based qualifications that are equivalent to GCSEs, because that suits her strengths far better than high-pressure exams.
None of this came from a master plan. It came from following what mattered to her and adding structure where it was genuinely useful.
Why Interests Matter So Much
I’ve learned that interest changes everything.
When learning connects to something a child actually cares about, effort comes more easily. Curiosity replaces resistance.
My daughter doesn’t love maths. But she understands why it matters for where she wants to go, so she engages with it on her own terms. Not because she’s told she must, but because it has a purpose she can see.
Sometimes an interest starts with something tiny. A museum visit. A novel. A book picked up in a gift shop. One thing leads to another, and learning builds naturally, without needing to be forced.
Why These Words Can Cause Problems
Local Authorities have a responsibility to make sure children are receiving a suitable education. That’s understandable.
The difficulty is that words like unschooling and deschooling are sometimes heard as meaning:
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no structure
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no plan
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no learning
Families using these approaches know that isn’t true, but the terminology itself can create unnecessary tension.
Sometimes the language becomes the issue, not the education.
Using Safer Language with Your LA
When communicating with your Local Authority, it often helps to focus less on labels and more on examples.
Talking about child-led learning, daily activities, and practical experiences makes learning visible in a way that’s easier for others to understand.
Cooking, photography projects, budgeting, reading, museum visits, journalling - these all show learning clearly, even if it doesn’t follow a school timetable.
You can use the words unschooling and deschooling freely with other home educators who understand them. With your LA, it’s usually more helpful to show what learning looks like in your everyday life.
A Final Thought
Home education doesn’t have to mirror school to be meaningful.
It can look like a cake in the oven, a camera in the garden, a conversation at the gym, or a quiet moment with a book that opens the door to something new.
When learning is rooted in a child’s interests and goals, confidence grows. Curiosity returns. Progress happens in ways that feel sustainable rather than forced.
And that, in the end, is what matters most.
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